Hey ho all you cool cats out there...Fanny's the name and being spoilt rotten the game!
Let's get one thing clear,right from the start. Judy is my pet. On the whole this situation is great. She does all my shopping, delivers yummy grub and I get to sleep in a double bed. I even get to sharpen my claws on her furniture when she's not looking. If she catches me at it she tends to flip out...but hey you dudes, chill out and listen to the Wonder Cat....learn to love fringe.
Now, I have to point out that she pretends that all the creative stuff on this site is hers. Lies I tell you. It is I who am the talented one….she is merely the carriage for my fame. I am indeed Fanny the Wonder Cat. The Femme Fatale of the Feline Fraternity. Under great pressure ‘she who shall not be obeyed – but shall obey me' has let me have my own page on the website. So, welcome to my site all you crazy cats. Sit back on your velvet cushions and read on.
I am currently single and have all my own hair and teeth. I am half Burmese - the loud half. Judy says I am demanding, but a cat has to be in control of its pet and my early morning howls for food and tickles are always quickly satisfied. My demands are simple: food, warmth and hugs, with the freedom to be able to come and go as I please. I am beautiful, sleek and highly intelligent, with a good sense of humour. Walks along the beach don't interest me, but I do like a night on the tiles from time to time. However, I don't go out with any Tom, Dick or ‘Ally'. I am currently on an intercat dating site and am forging a rather intriguing relationship with a Jasper, a London born Siamese. He owns a stockbroker who does ‘something' in the city…dealing in fish. A perfect match if you ask me.
We have moved house twice and survived. She foolishly thought that buttering my paws would keep me safe and at home. It worked the first time, but I managed to go AWOL after the second move, only to come home when I saw a poster she had put up in the street saying ‘Has anyone seen my Fanny'. Obviously, to save her embarrassment, I returned promptly. We have now settled together along with 'Dive' ( a rather tasty looking goldfish) in a lovely cosy victorian house in Maidstone.
Over the past nine years we have travelled the rollercoaster of life together and seen each other through wild and difficult times. I am her therapist, hot water bottle and confidente. She could not have got where she is without my feline intervention. She's pretty cool really and I could have done worse. I know that she needs me to look after her and that is why I stay. Along the way I hope that I have taught her a few things.
I usually spend my days on the feline astrals or lying on Judy's drawing board which overlooks the street, so that I can keep up my neighbourhood watch duties. She normally works all day, creating stuff. Sometimes she goes out with parcels, or little white envelopes to a place called a ‘post office'. She returns empty handed apart from the usual little ‘treat' for yours truly. Little does she know that I control her daily meanderings with purrfect control. Her every move is monitored and logged in my catalogue. One false move and I'm out of here.
If any of you cats want to contact me, do so via Judy's email. I'm always up before her checking my intercat site for new proposals. I promise to get back to you...now where did I put that mouse....!
P.S Yes that was my wonderful singing voice, I'm hoping to appear on "CAT IDOL" next year so dont forget to vote for your Fanny.
